Screwtape Letters Revisited

My dear Gristletoe,

You were wise to write to me for advice concerning your patient. Although you admittedly have the most experience tempting her, having been watching her since her early defection to the Enemy, I have the benefit of thousands of years of knowledge in corrupting the most pious of the vile monkeys who crawl about the earth. You may remember that I earned my spurs in the Greatest Century of Victory--the age when all we had to do to convince men to stop believing in the Enemy was to make them believe they were being taken in by all this religious fiddlefaddle. Thus, I have great insight into human character, and especially in your human, I see some signs of hope for us--but only if we tread very carefully.

From your letter, it seems your patient has the benefit (from our perspective and hers) of being a follower of the Enemy for a long, long time. Naturally, this is not the optimum (she is, unfortunately, well guarded from the fires of Hell), but a well-timed lapse into complacency and a lukewarm spirit are quite satisfactory when trying to hinder the Enemy's efforts in many of his longtime followers.

Thus, encourage your patient to believe that she is doing just fine--just fine being the key term--just as she is. Certainly she may sin in a way she considers "badly" every now and again, but blind her to things less obvious than murder and lust. Let her gloss over her pride when she begs forgiveness for her sins, her false humility, her lack of compassion, her selfishness. After all, you must remark to her, these things are natural and human and they take so much time to conquer that she will probably never conquer them all.

If she must notice these things, then convince her, once she has prayed about them, that the problem is taken care of. Press the all-too-popular "easy-weight-loss" solution--let her believe that it is possible to overcome such things without the discipline of hard work and continual awareness. If you succeed in this, the selfishness and pride will only be briefly subdued by the Enemy's grace, and when it returns, she will be more apt to ignore it than before.

By far, however, our most effective tool in the case of little poppets like these is to whisper doubts in their ear. They have so many within them already that only a hint, a little nudge, is enough to send her spiraling into anxiety and hopelessness. Make her worry--not about her sin or about whether she's obeying her precious Bible in this moment--but about what happens after graduation, about the grim outlook for her romantic life. Let her worry about her eyebrows and hair and if That Boy has noticed her yet (I must say well done, inciting her to daydream about him and give herself a martyr complex and a crisis of faith all revolving around such a shallow friendship that might-have-been something more).

The main thing you need to be concerned about it that she will begin to counter your anxiety attacks by turning to her precious bible. Taking it to an extreme and reducing her to a tear-wracked mess has only resulted in her pleading for forgiveness and mercy and faith from the Enemy--I would not try that method again, if I were you. And I hear she has begun memorizing scripture--and worse, thinking about it. You can prevent meditation on the Enemy's words by bringing lots of distractions--the radio, television, other people, and best, more anxieties about the future! But I would try to wean her off the scripture memory. Perhaps once the storm wanes, and she is able to get sleep and read her blessed fiction (do encourage her to read fiction, but only the bad kinds) she will forget to memorize and forget to practice and forget what she has been learning in that Awful Group.

About the group: you would do best to discourage her from going at all. Your anxiety attacks were better at the beginning of the year, when she was still unbalanced from her self-imposed isolation (that was a good play, for instead of letting her soak in the bible, you kept her distracted with wonderful shows and social media). But now she has made friends and--even worse--begun overcoming her fears. She has been praying to the Enemy more regularly about those fears. Make it your business to keep her from evangelizing any more. Prevent her following up with that girl she met this week. Isolate her. Make her "tired" and make sure she believes she "better just go home and rest tonight." This is your surest way to derailing her and growing the fears once more.

When she must go to her Awful Group or associate with her friends, keep the conversation away from topics of the Enemy. Encourage them to talk about this latest episode or that latest exam or annoying teacher they had to endure. Let them complain and whine and talk about boys--whatever silly things girls will say. But strongly discourage all thoughts of spiritual encouragement.

This Spring Break will be a good time to further distract her from what is important, to lead her off the path little by little. You might even have a few choice victories and get to taste her sweet despair. Make sure she forgets her quiet times. Make sure she forgets to pray. Make sure she memorizes no more scripture. And above all, encourage anxiety. Lead her to despair--especially with this interview she has approaching for a job. Remind her that she hates sitting in an office all day and even if she is victorious in this, even if she gets the job she's been hoping for, it is the wrong choice; that no choice she can make is optimum or best, because there are so many 'what-if-I'd-done-it-differently's.

You are doing well, Gristletoe. But you could yet do better. If she at once guesses your meaning or has a moment of enlightenment, you are sunk. It seems that she likes to keep herself on the brink of discovery without often actually learning what she seeks, which can be dangerous but can also be to our benefit. Thus you must be extra vigilant in tempting her to mindless entertainment and self satisfaction.

I will write to you again to advise you further.

Your affectionate instructor,

Screwtape